Bongpelzista
The world’s gone to shit, and there’s no going back. So why not go out high and on our own terms while throwing the world’s most epic party?
A bongpelzista (also known as a b'p'ta) is a type of event popularised in the mid-2140s by a fringe, nihilistic thrill-seeking movement known as the Smoking Machine. It is a party with a usually large number of attendees, who are typically required to bring their own bongs or cigarettes depending on the event, as smoking is mandatory. The event is part of the toxic tripping subculture and later led to the asbestos-centred spin-off known as the asbestorama.
One of the main hallmarks of the events is to cause as much collateral damage as possible, which has resulted in bongpelzistas being banned in civilised countries. Some extreme b'p'tas have included the use of thermobaric weapons and the smoking of deadly substances such as asbestos, radium, and Nevrin-54. Vaping is considered “disgraceful” to the bongpelzista and those bringing vapes to the event are often lynched by the rest of the partygoers.
Die Überbongpelz
Bongpelzistas usually take place around a massive, central glass bong known as die überbongpelz, either hand-blown or manufactured by a specialist company such as Bongmaster™️ BongCreations. Heat sources for die überbongpelz usually include gas burners and flamethrowers, but some especially large models on the market source their power from small fission or fusion reactors.
Modern überbongepelzes include convenience features, such as a bong fluid input port and gas turbine for air circulation. Standard-sized models can provide bong smoke to around 500-600 smiking participants. Due to the high w'eed saturation of the bong water, it must be exchanged frequently, which is usually done with a industrial high flow rate pumpy.
Decorations
Most bongpelzistas also include decorations to both enhance the atmosphere and provide entertainment, as well as to cause even more collateral damage.[]
Popular decorations and setpieces include:
- Mörkö, a malevolent sapient anomaly
- a Yosemite hammer
- a miniature, rideable train
- a pool wave machine
- a large passenger bus with two turbofan engines strapped to either side known as "Anton's Bus"
- a small air horn known as the Signal Horn
- an old Soviet military helicopter
- the "Summer Dress" and the "Dirty Furniture"
- die glocke, a large, rusty bell that can be rung with an iron rod and makes a sound that reverberates throughout the architecture